


Forever

by multifandommess17



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 15x18, 15x20, Canon-Compliant, Destiel - Freeform, Epilogue, Gen, Happy Ending, Heaven, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Finale, Saileen - Freeform, starts off sad but ends happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:46:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28027998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/multifandommess17/pseuds/multifandommess17
Summary: Dean’s perspective during the final three episodes and after.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester & Dean Winchester Jr, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Jack Kline & Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester
Kudos: 26





	Forever

The phone rings. It echoes throughout the empty room. 

How can he pick up the phone? 

Dean always picks up the phone. After everything that happened with his father, how could he not? Someone calls, you answer. It could be important; it could be life or death. Dean can’t abandon anyone like his father did to him and Sam. He always picks up the phone. 

But this time, he doesn’t. 

It’s Sam calling, and Dean wants to be able to pick up. He wants to reassure his brother that he’s alive. 

But how can he pick up the phone after this? How can he answer when he can’t breathe, can’t speak, can’t stop the tears relentlessly flowing down his face? How can he pick up the phone, and have Sam ask him ‘what’s wrong, what happened’ when there is so much that is wrong and so much that happened and so much of it he can’t bring himself to say? How can he pick up the phone when Cas is gone, Cas is dead, and he couldn’t stop it, couldn’t even say ‘I love you’ back? How can he hear his little brother’s silence on the other side, after all those knowing looks and side eyes, after what Cas means-meant?-to Sam too, after Cas looked him in the eye and told Dean he loved him. And it happened so fast, Dean barely had time to blink before Cas’ tearstained, smiling face was covered in black goo and gone, forever. How can he face Sam when he can’t face himself?

Cas told him he loved him. Castiel, angel of the lord, admitted he was in love with Dean Winchester, Dean of all people- and told him why. Told him that everything he did was for love, not anger- told him he was selfless. Told him he was worth something, was something beautiful. Told him that he loved him, and why he thinks Dean is worthy of it. 

Dean’s not sure he buys it. Someone worthy of Cas’ love could’ve said ‘I love you’ back. 

It’s an hour before he can peel himself off the floor, before the tears and racking sobs let him stand and go to the car. He drives, and he sees no one. The world is empty. The only thing emptier is his heart. 

He drives, and he wants to be angry. He wants to be mad enough to hit things and bloody his knuckles and scream until his throat hurts and his eyes water. He wants to curse someone- anyone. Chuck could work, but Dean knows it wasn’t Chuck who did this. It was Cas. 

He made the deal out of love: love for Jack, love he said Dean taught him. Dean wants to be mad at Cas, at Jack- but he isn’t. The anger that’s been there all his life just- isn’t. Cas made a deal to save a boy he loved, and Dean Winchester would have done the exact same thing. He knows this as sure as he knows Cas is gone. 

He can’t be angry. 

What he is, is drained. Overwhelming sadness doesn’t even register, he’s just- empty, now. Emptier than Cas’ final resting place. 

He’s left only with a bloody handprint on his jacket. No body, no trench coat, no Cas. 

He keeps driving.   
***  
Sam is there, and Jack is there, but no one else is. Donna and Bobby and Charlie aren’t there. Cas isn’t there, ready to run to Dean and say his name and hold him tightly in his arms. 

He tells them of Cas’ sacrifice: the basic, non-emotional version, that is. He can’t talk about that- physically can’t without breaking down again, and he can’t do that to them. He holds it inside, like he always has, and it’s different to hold onto regret and love and sadness without any anger. 

He walks toward Jack, who is processing the news. He should be angry- it was a deal for Jack’s life that took Cas away from him. He expects to be angry, and he thinks Jack expects it too. 

But Dean can’t hate him. 

His relationship with Jack has been rocky, but he does care for the kid- a lot. He let other things get in the way before, but he can’t let that happen again. Not now, after they are the last people on Earth, after Cas made a deal and kept it a secret to save him. 

“I’m sorry, kid,” he says, and it doesn’t encompass the emotion and apology he owes him, but it’ll have to be enough. He follows Sam into the diner.   
***  
Chuck falls. Dean can’t believe it worked. After years of running like a mouse in a maze, being played for multiple apocalypses- he can write his own story, his own ending. And Sam and Jack are there too. Well, Sam is. Jack decides to leave, and for the first time, it doesn’t feel like abandonment. 

“I’m around. I’ll be in every drop of falling rain, every speck of dust the wind blows, and in the sand, the rocks, and the sea.” 

Dean’s never been a fan of cheesy stuff like that, but this time he knows it’s true. And it’s comforting to know that God is an old friend of yours- the son you never had, really. It’s complicated, but at least God isn’t playing them like a fiddle to act out the script for his little pay-per-view MMA smackdowns. 

There won’t even be a script anymore- just people being people. As Jack said: “When people have to be their best- they can be. And that’s what to believe in.” 

Dean’s always believed in that, if nothing else. And now his belief is confirmed and put into motion. 

Jack’s a smart kid- Chuck’s hubris from his self-insert stories was his downfall. And he isn’t going far- just out of sight. Dean wants to tell him how much he’s grown to mean to him, but he’s God now and he’s not sure if that’s weird. So he doesn’t say anything and watches him disappear.

If Jack is God now, maybe he doesn’t need words. 

Jack is still Jack, though, so when Dean gets out his pocketknife, he has Sam carve in his name. He carves Castiel’s. He wishes he could do more. But they have no idea or power or any way to jailbreak Cas from the Empty. Only the new God would have the power to do that, and Dean finds himself hoping Cas will show up on their doorstep, maybe with a damn bow on his head, because after all that- maybe they deserved it. 

He loses hope for that as time goes on. 

He can’t believe Jack would abandon Cas like that, though, and as his prayers go unanswered, Dean gives up. 

Well, maybe not ‘gives up’, per se. He stops hoping, stops allowing himself to wish and pray and believe that a blue-eyed angel in a dirty trench coat could still show up on his door. He does what he’s hardly ever done before, and lets go. 

He hunts with Sam. They get a dog. They cook spaghetti and scrambled eggs and burgers, they drink beer and read books. They do normal jobs, and there’s no threat of something bigger, something world-threatening. Saving people, hunting things- the way it’s supposed to be. Dean won’t let himself forget Cas, but he moves on. 

He finally understands why Sam didn’t look for him while he and Cas were in Purgatory. Without any information or power over the Empty, the only thing they can do is remember and make it count, even if it hurts like hell and makes his chest feel like an empty hole with jagged edges and brings tears to his eyes at night. He tells Sam this. Sam slams a slice of pie into his face. 

It’s good to see him smile.   
***  
Dean Winchester is 41 years old when he dies for the last time. 

It’s a bigger number than he ever expected. 

He looks back on his life, how he’s grown. How he carried his baby brother out of the fire that killed their mother when he was only four, had to grow up and raise Sam at the same time. How he stood outside Sam’s door for hours at 26, wearing his dad’s leather jacket to look tough, but standing there scared out of his wits that his baby brother wouldn’t love him anymore. He thinks about being 28 and faced with an eternity in Hell after he sold his soul to save Sam’s life. He thinks about being 31 and watching his brother face the same predicament, only worse, and to save the world. He thinks about being 33 and losing the best father figure he had. He thinks about being 36 and a demon, his arm marked by an ancient curse. He thinks about being 38 and meeting his mom again. He thinks about being 41 and watching the love of his life die for the sixth time, without telling him how he felt. Again. 

He thinks of being 41 and dying in a barn, taken out by a gigantic nail and a mime vampire son of a bitch. 

He looks back at people he’s met, at hunts past, at deaths past. At apocalypses conquered and big storylines in Chuck’s story that could’ve or did kill him, and he thinks about how he’s dying now in a barn in the middle of nowhere, saving just two little boys from vampires in masks; how the great Dean Winchester, who made God bleed and beg for mercy, is dying from an oversized rusty nail. 

He wouldn’t have it any other way. This is his story now, and this is a pretty good ending. If any of the bigger stuff had defeated him, the world would be a lot worse off. It’s in better hands now. It’s proof that Chuck’s gone, that he’s allowed to die in this small, insignificant way instead of killing his brother or being a demon or twisted into a pretzel in Purgatory by the wrath of God, so he writes his own ending the way he always knew it would go. 

And he can’t let Sam start the cycle up again. They have to let go. He makes him promise him it’s okay, and he knows Sam will keep that promise. He doesn’t want to leave him, but now that the time is here, he can’t come back. 

Dean Winchester is 41 years old when his soul leaves the body that his brother is holding on to and ascends into Heaven.   
***  
Bobby is there, and he drinks a crappy beer and hears of how Heaven has changed. That the walls are broken down and Heaven is a place to make new happy memories instead of reliving the old ones. That his parents are there and live together, and everyone is together and everyone is happy. Forever. 

“Well- Cas helped” Bobby adds, and Dean smiles. He knew Jack wouldn’t let Cas stay in the Empty. This is perfect. 

Well, almost. 

The word ‘forever’ echoes in Dean’s mind. For the first time, he has all the time in the world. So he gets in his car and drives, the song on the radio taking him back to a stage full of middle-school girls thinking they knew him better than he knew him, and getting a surprising amount right. The sun is shining through the pine trees, and Sam will be here soon. There is peace now that they are done. He has forever, but he won’t start forever without Sam. 

Bobby’s right. It isn’t long before Sam is there, and Dean wraps his arms around his little brother. Finally, there is peace.   
***  
They get into the car. Dean drives. Sam rides shotgun, and tells him about his life. He tells him of a little boy named Dean. 

“A hunter?”

“Eileen and I didn’t force him. It was sort of a weekend activity. Once he got old enough, he chose it. But we didn’t let him get behind on schoolwork.” 

“A hunter.” Dean whistles. “Bet he was even better than you.” 

Sam grins. “Yeah. Good researcher, and he could handle a machete better than you.” 

Dean laughs. “Knew you’d find a good replacement.” 

“Dean. Come on. My son wasn’t a replacement. No one could ever replace you.” 

Dean pauses. “‘Course. It is weird to hear you say ‘my son’ though. Good weird, I promise.” 

Sam smiles. “I’m excited for you to meet him someday. He’s heard a lot about you, and you’ll love him, Dean.” 

Dean smiles back. Smiles come more easily now than they did in life. 

“I know I will.” 

But first, they have a lot of other reunions to get to. 

Sam hugs Bobby, and Mary and John. Ellen and Jo are next, and Dean and Sam apologize and apologize, but no one lets them keep holding on to guilt that long. They see Kevin and Charlie, and their little family is nearly complete. They tell Jimmy and Amelia Novak of their daughter, safe with Jody Mills and a girlfriend named Kaia to watch over her. They tell Kelly Kline stories about her son. They tell Ash about the lucky pool hall and Pamela of bars. They tell Missouri about Patience, Jody’s husband and son of her band of girls, Charlie’s parents of her badass fighting skills and kindness. They tell Henry Winchester of Abbadon’s demise and the 21st century, and Mary about the changes they made in the bunker after her death. They tell Kevin’s dad how brave he was, tell Mrs. Singer that Bobby was as good as a father as she knew he would have been. They tell their own father the stories of their lives, after he’d left them. 

Dean sees a girl in a white dress and blond hair, like sun shining in the snow. He nudges Sam. 

Sam turns, and Dean hears his breath catch in his throat. “Jess?” 

“Hey Sam.” She smiles. 

He runs and throws his arms around her. 

Dean smiles and turns around to give them some privacy, and there he is. 

Cas is standing only a couple feet away from him, appearing from behind him like always. He’s definitely Cas and not Jimmy Novak, though Dean’s not sure how he knows. He’s wearing the suit and blue tie and tan trench coat.

“Cas?”

“Hello Dean” he says, and he smiles. 

“Bobby said. . . you helped Jack. . .” 

“The first thing he did was bring me to Heaven. And I have you and Sam to thank for that, Dean- you defeated Chuck. You let Jack fulfill his destiny when I couldn’t. You saved me. Thank you.” He’s smiling now, more in the crinkle of his eyes than his mouth. Dean realizes he never forgot that smile, nor any of the other ones, and he’s grateful. 

“Cas,” Dean breathes out, and then he’s crossing the distance and throwing his arms around Cas. 

Dean holds Cas tightly and Cas is holding tight back, but it’s different than all their other reunion hugs on Earth or in Purgatory. There, Dean always felt like if he let go, the universe would tear them apart again, take Cas away again. But now the urgency is gone, the desperation. Now there is peace, now there isn’t fear. Now there is the promise of everyone together, forever. This is the last time he will have to reunite with Cas, because they won’t have to be apart ever again. 

He may have to eventually break the hug, though, as Cas doesn’t seem inclined to let go, but Dean isn’t in a hurry to do that either. 

In the end, it’s his words that do it, mumbled into Cas’ shoulder. “I’m sorry, Cas, I’m so sorry. . .” 

That makes Cas pull back, just enough to look him in the eyes. “Dean. . .” 

“I love you too, you know” Dean bursts out, and he wishes he hadn’t taken so long to say it, but the past is past and Cas is here and they may have forever, but he can’t wait anymore. “I should’ve said it years ago, I should’ve said it then, but it all happened so fast and you were dead and I couldn’t-“ He has to stop for a breath. 

Cas is just looking at him.

“I love you.” Dean says again, voice tight. “I love you.” 

Cas keeps looking. “I love you too, Dean.” he whispers, and Dean is more than happy to meet Cas halfway and finally, finally press their lips together. 

Neither one of them wants to let go. 

Eventually, Charlie wolf-whistles. That breaks them apart. 

She’s grinning wide. “Finally, you two! I was worried Dean was gonna become King of Narnia, being in the closet that long!” 

Sam laughs along with Mary and Bobby. Dean’s blushing like he’s never blushed before, but he’s not even mad. He deserves it, he supposes. He turns back to a squinting Cas. 

“What closet?” 

Dean cuts him off with another kiss.   
***   
It’s some time into forever before the other Dean Winchester reaches Heaven. It’s been a time of reconnection, of happiness and love, of making up for lost time in a little house with Cas. Sam and Eileen live next door. Anyone else they’d want to talk to live not far away. Jack even visits every now and then, now that their story is over. He likes hanging out with them in Heaven, and Dean enjoys it too. Despite Jack’s new role, he’s still just Jack. He loves his mother and spending time with her, and he goes fishing with Dean and plays board games with Cas and drinks beer and discusses Star Wars with Sam. 

The other Dean appears on the front porch of Sam and Eileen’s house one day while Dean and Cas are inside. They hear the cries of joy, the hugs, the sounds of the reunion. It’s not long before Sam is dragging Dean inside to meet his uncle. 

“Hey, kid,” Dean chooses as his first line. 

“Hey,” said Sam’s son. “I’ve heard a lot about you. About both of you,” he adds to Cas. 

He goes to hug Dean. “It’s so good to finally meet you.” 

Dean smiles as he hugs back. “Good to meet you too, kid.”   
***  
Later, Dean ends up on the porch with Dean. 

“Hey,” he says, “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.” 

“Don’t apologize,” the black-haired boy replied. “You died doing what you loved. And Dad was a great father.” They both smile at that. 

“I’m glad I get to know you now- I feel like I know you already.” he continues. 

“Your dad talked a lot about you, you know. I feel like I know you too, but I know I’ll never be able to know you like I would have if I’d lived.” 

“That’s okay,” Dean says. 

They look up at the evening sky. 

“Did you ever hate your name?” 

“What?” 

“Did you hate being named after a dead man?” 

Dean pauses. “A little. When I was a kid. I felt like I couldn’t replace you or be as good as you, and that’s what Dad wanted. But he didn’t. I was me and you were you, and no one could ever replace you, but he did have me.” He smiles. “And then he said I was better than you with a machete.” 

Dean raises an eyebrow. “Care to test that later?” 

“You’re on,” he says with a little smirk. 

Then Cas comes out and brings a case of beer, slinging an arm around Dean’s shoulder. Dean opens up the beers. He gives one to Dean, and one to Sam when he gets back outside. Together, Sam, Eileen, their son, Cas, and Dean watch the sun set from Sam and Eileen’s porch, ready for another day of forever.


End file.
